Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
