Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
