you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
