You made me cry and you don't even care
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
