never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
