Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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