I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
