Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
