I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize