It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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