Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
