The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
