wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
