She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
