i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
