i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Vodka?
Forever.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
