did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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