His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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