There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
