I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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