I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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