Say something about gay babies.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
