I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
