I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
