I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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