Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
