Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
