he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
