I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
