I'm gonna have a badass scar
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
