Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
