Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
