If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
