why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we made out on top of his cat.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
