i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
