just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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