I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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