she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
