I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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