i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize