If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
