i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
