Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
