I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
