She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
