I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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