you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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