id be glad to
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
