If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
