ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize