does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
