He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
