I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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