i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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