He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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