Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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