; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
