I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize