If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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