i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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