Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
