I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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