I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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