No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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