Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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